Thursday, June 14, 2018

You Got This

My first born is one month old today. He is one month, but I still haven't gotten over the sense that I may be doing something wrong in caring for him.

I love taking care of my baby boy. Nothing gives me so much joy than to be certain that he is well-fed, doesn't stink, and overall happy and comfortable. Up close, however, I couldn't shake off the feeling that I overlooked something or that slowly, little by little, I'm killing him.

When he's breastfeeding, I always wonder if he's tilted the right angle and the milk's going where it should (and not to his lungs).

When I'm giving him bath, I'm afraid that he's too cold and may catch pneumonia soon.

When I'm carrying him, I worry that my rough and hard fingers are hurting his spine.

When I'm changing his diapers, I'm scared that I might break his ankles as I hold them up to lift his butt.

When I'm putting on his shirt, I just assume I'm not breaking his tiny arms as I push them inside those tiny sleeves.

There are plenty of things I fear I'm not doing right when it comes to his well-being that, when he's sound asleep, I always check for his breath. Every day is one more day that he survived me. For me, on the other hand, it's one more day that I sucked it up and put a brave face on. He's helpless without me, so I'd do it happily, until he can give himself a bath on his own.

Expect the worst, hope for the best - still holds true even in child care.

Here is a photo to commemorate this day. It's not to brag that I'm doing great. It's to let me know that I'm not doing so bad.



This is my salute to new (and experienced) moms for pretending daily that we know what we're doing. We got this!

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Bloody hell!


If you are someone who still finds the topic of menstrual cycle and menstruation in general offensive or taboo, then stop reading now.

You have been warned.

I cannot wrap my head around the idea that it is okay for some girls to leave bloody tracks of their menstruation when using public toilets. It is on the toilet seat; it is on the floor. Using public toilets, like those in gas stations where you have nothing, not even murky water to flush the toilet, may be understandable. But office comfort rooms have paper towels, tissue and the handheld bidet. If you do not want to wipe that sit, you can shoot that sit. More than an issue of hygiene, it is an issue of courtesy.

Anyway, speaking of bloody tracks, have you tried the menstrual cup? It is fairly new in the country. The up and coming Philippine brand Sinaya Cup has been the talk amongst active women - mountaineers, surfers, swimmers, triathletes - these days.

Menstrual flow during physical activities, especially during jiu-jitsu training and muay thai sessions, has also been my concern since the day I realized it is not comfortable to grapple or high kick when blood is bursting out of you from your most sensitive part. Though I do not mind using pads during treks, it is not pretty to go beach camping and surfing, or doing any water activity for that matter, when you are bleeding. There was a time when I believe that missing out is the only choice I have when I have my period. I was apprehensive to try the tampons at first. I still worry about it today. But so far, it has allowed me to do the things I love even on 'those days'.

But the cup. I have been curious since the first time I heard about it from fellow female members of the UP Mountaineers. It's environment-friendly, because it is reusable. It means less trash! So you can understand why I am willing to try (and switch to) it - though the most environment-friendly you can probably get when you are on your period is to just 'Let if flow, let if flow!' in the tune of Frozen's soundtrack. It is hypoallergenic. It does not cause Toxic Shock Syndrom (TSS) like the tampon.




So I know the WHYs. I still have questions about the HOWs. HOW do you put it in? HOW do you take it out? HOW do you wash it? To anyone who has tried/used it, tips and recommendations will be greatly appreciated.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

You're only sorry you got caught

"Please, just cut it out. And don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not. And baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught."
I am never a fan, but Rihanna struck gold with this one.

People will never say sorry, or even feel sorry, for things they can hide.  Remorse comes at the discovery.

So what happens when somethings are left undiscovered?  Well, nothing.  What you don't know can't hurt you.  But somewhere in another perspective, what you don't know makes you a fool.  Paraphrase: that person that keeps things from you makes you a fool.

So Ri-Ri, cheers! I wish you've done more work like this one.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Romi Garduce: Book Tour at Smart Office

Reblogging, just because I'm a proud SMCnoy and UP Mountaineer ;)

Romi Garduce: Book Tour at Smart Office

Capture:



Garduce: "to put more meaning in the title Akyat, Smart mountaineering club invited me to climb 33 floors of their office building, apparently a regular wellness activity for them. Aba loko mga ito ah!"
And an inspiring book dedication he wrote to a 'retired' mountaineer: ""Cilmb Again!" ;) No such thing as 'former mountaineer' =)"
Very inspiring!

Friday, March 7, 2014

I Am Not that Friend

I won't make it to your birthday party.

I'm probably somewhere North, summiting some peak, where cellphone reception is impossible that even a birthday greeting from me couldn't get through.

But know that I know you'll have a blast with your other friends.


I will miss your wedding.

I'm probably down South, catching and riding some waves. I would contemplate congratulating you but would scrap the idea for I wouldn't want to bother you in the busiest day of your life.

But know that I'm happy for you because you've found the love of your life.


I may be absent at your thanksgiving, for a big promotion you got at work.

I'm probably planting some trees in the East, trying though futile, to salvage the environment, and my hands are so muddy I couldn't even touch my phone to contact you.

But know that I'm the proudest person out there for having the most gifted friend in you.


I'm nowhere to be found at your first born's dedication.

I might be doing some relief operations in the West, trying my best, though of littlest impact, to help rebuild a society.

But take comfort in knowing I'll be the best godparent to your child.


I couldn't offer my shoulder for you to cry on at your mother's funeral.

I'm probably out of the country basking in the beauty of the world's most magnificent places.

But know that I mourn your loss.


I am your friend; It's just that I am not that friend.

But this I promise from the bottomest pit of my heart, from my quietest corner: when the partying ends, when the celebration is through, when all the merry noises quiet down, I'll be there.

Take comfort in knowing that, when the world turns its back on you, I got your back.  I am that friend.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Cheesy Post

I know I'm not the best girlfriend
I nag. I rant. I complain.
I accuse you. I judge you.
Sometimes I mistrust you.
Oftentimes I make fun of you.

How you can manage to stay, I don't have a clue.

But just this once, allow me to say, "thank you."

Let me be a bit cheesy.
How did I get so lucky?

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Regret...

It comes in the morning after the night you've decided you won't go to training just because you let a petty stuff get the better of you.

Yes, regret.  Especially if that night is one of those few precious nights you have that you really are available to train - few nights that you have the time free.

Note to self:  When you're having a bad day, don't run away from jiujitsu because JIUJITSU is the way!

Friday, May 10, 2013

My Life's Most Difficult Questions 1 and 2

1. Ano na mga naakyat mong bundok? What mountains have you climbed already?

I will pause and think, "Is this serious? Do I start naming the mountains I've climbed now?"  And I will have a conversation with myself to discuss how best to answer.

     (a) If I say, "Talamitam, Batulao, Gulugod Baboy", surely he'll have an idea what I was talking about if he has at least climbed once - because these mountains are usually for first-timers and beginners.  Chances are, he has already climbed one of these.  Or maybe not one of these, but at least he had climbed once and, during that climb, been accompanied by experienced mountaineers and guides and locals and had conversations about Philippine mountains and climbing and heard this mountains' names mentioned.  BUT, what if he has no clue?  All these mountain names are just blah and I'm not the promo-girl type.  I would not want to indulge into the long lectures about mountain climbing.  Pardon me.

     (b) I can just say, "Marami na rin." I've been to a few.  That's a safe response.  It could either (1) end the inquiry (which I undoubtedly prefer) because, usually in that case, it means the person asking has no inkling as to what he wants to know, or (2) push the inquisitor to make his question more specific.  Then, we can talk.

All these in consideration, I find it frustrating that, sometimes, after I respond as best I could, I would hear, "Have you been to Pulag? Mayon? Apo?"  Ahhhh, yes.  The famous ones.  I should have known.

BLAH.


2. Athlete ka ba? Are you an athlete?  Palagi ka ba sa gym?  Do you regularly go to the gym?

I just finished undergoing the company's Annual Physical Examination.  As usual, the findings say that my pulse rate is below normal, i.e. my heart beats slower than what is deemed normal for a human being.  It's at 53/min versus the normal 60-100/min.  I believe it's lower this year than last - 55/min.

Then the questions follow.

Are you an athlete?  The answer is no.  Not a professional, at least.  I am a part of the company's track and field team.  But, unlike pros, we only do our trainings two months every year.  I climb, if that matters in this regard.  But when I say that, the doctor does not hear.

Do you regularly go to the gym?  The answer is not "No", it's "Never."  If this gym means lifting those weights, running on the treadmill, biking on the stationary bike, then yes, never.

I do Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in the gym once or twice a week - I goal of doing it three to four times a week.  But how do I say this to a medical doctor.

Me: "Doctor, I do jiu-jitsu."
Doctor: "What's that?"
Me: "Uhhhh...."
<END>

Somehow, given what I do and don't, I am not warrant to have a slow heart.  I've been asked the follow-up questions:  Do you experience difficulty in breathing? Chest pains? Constrictions?  I responded:  None that I remember.  And since my case might require further and deeper examination, I was disposed with, "See a cardiologist when you experience chest pains or have difficulty breathing." I nodded.

I have concluded that I am either gifted with an athlete's heart (though I'm no pro-athlete) or have a major heart disease.  Whatever it may be, I am yet to see.  I'm just glad that for another year, I won't have to think about answering questions.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Smart embodies Live More during the 2013 MVP Olympics

Employee athlete.

What puts fun at being an employee is being a company athlete at the same time.  With SMART, I get to be these two.  Truly, working well, living more!

Video source: gsk1lls


Saturday, March 30, 2013

Follow Through

To follow through - a phrase often used and associated with sports that use arm and leg movement.

TheFreeDictionay.com:  follow through
1. Sports. To carry a stroke to natural completion after hitting or releasing a ball or other object.
2. To carry an act, project, or intention to completion; pursue fully.

Completion. To pursue fully. In life, that's to follow through.

When we do something right at just one point, that's not following through.
When we do something just to prove a point, that's not following through.

Doing anything without following through is like doing something half-heartedly.

If we cannot follow through, better to not have done it at all, or to never have started at all.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Buchecha vs Galvão for the 2013 Pan Absolute

Amazing match!  Size truly doesn't matter.  Technique does it!  I'm a Galvao fan in one takedown :D
The handshake after, it was just sweet hehehe.
Video Source:  Budovideosdotcom

Monday, February 11, 2013

Friday, February 8, 2013

The Fixed Point

With just one point, imagine the countless possible dance moves you could do.  Amazing!
Source: Official Jabbawockeez Youtube

The Day After

Last night was a tough night at training.  We've been doing competition training at the gym for our teammates who would be competing at the International Open on February 23-24, 2013.  But Thursdays are always painful.  Thursday is when the teachers get sadistic haha!

Anyway, besides the hundred-count-drills, that day also marks the first time I've sparred with our purple belt instructor.  I am completely sure that I looked like a little girl picking a fight with her daddy who is not even taking her seriously; if it were a verbal throw down, I'm sure he was laughing off my death and bomb threats.  It was that funny.  :D  I would almost pass his guard then he would roll over or toss me up and end up in a guard position again; I would escape a back mount only to end up in his full mount, or was it the other way around?  The whole seven-minute round of sparring looked pretty much like that.  I was very, very lucky he didn't get to tap me out, but then again, was he even trying to tap me out?

During a spar with my blue belt boyfriend, a funny and curious thing even happened.  I got trapped (at least I felt that way) in a side mount.  He was so good at pinning me down.  I could feel his weight heavy on my stomach and my air was getting thinner and thinner every passing second.  I got desperate.  I tried to bridge out, but it seems like nothing's happening.  I tried to push him up and out, but he was just there, solid heavy.  Then I felt it.  A sensation in my teeth that's urging me to bite haha!  "Oh, you wouldn't let me out?  I would bite you."  It was desperation.  It's like my mind is telling me I'm dead and that's the only way to survive.  I had to blink hard and shake my head to regain consciousness and control over my now involuntary body parts. :D  He wasn't able to submit me.  But he made me question my sanity. :D

When I got home after training, every little bit hurts I was tempted to just go to bed and have that dreamless sleep without fixing my dirty clothes or brushing my teeth.  I was that tired.  After mustering whatever strength I have left, I went to hang my used and - take note - sweat-soaked gi.  That's when I knew, it's been a great night, a great training.

I don't know how it started exactly but, the morning after, while I was walking to work, I caught myself smiling as I was remembering the little details of the night before.  I was like this high school girl remembering a little comment a guy I had a little crush on made about my handwriting. :)  I don't want to sound too cheesy about it but jiu-jitsu gave me my best and brightest day during a very difficult and trying week.

I am grateful I've found it... I am grateful it found me...

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Wala na sya...

Today, a dear friend and comrade in the mountains and on the road passed away.  Though I have not seen him in a while before this, I am thankful for the ways he has touched my life.  Smart, witty, crazily fun, crafty, with honorable principles and a kind heart, Vic is an enthusiast of the outdoors.  And during his not-so-busy days when he has nothing to do, he covers miles, too.

His death is surely painful.  I can only hope that somehow, in the littlest of ways, I was able to touch his life as well.

To have lose someone close and at his young age, too, is a reminder that death is a reality of life so much as hunger is.  Truly, the Lord gives and takes away.  So make sure to always take time to show the people you love how much you care.  Such a cliche, but better that than to regret it when it's all too late and they couldn't hear our "I love you's", "I miss you's", "Take care's", "Thank you's" or even our "Good night's" and "Good morning's".


Bicky, ansakit, badtrip!  Di man lang kita nakasama ulit sa one last akyat.  But I pray that you're resting well.  Ipinapaubaya na kita sa ating Manlilikha.  Salamat, pinatalbog mo sa katatawa ang buhay ng marami.  Mami-miss kita, bro!  And don't worry, aalagaan namin si Sisay.

Father, please take care of my friend.  This I pray, Amen.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Moving on...


Moving on is like moving to a new house.  You don't just disappear from the old place and pop up in the new place with everything in order.  You go through the depressing stage of moving your stuff.  You see the old place slowly become empty.  You witness its saddening transformation from being a home to just being a house.  For a strange moment, even with the concept of having a brand new place, you feel sad.  But then, you can’t stay because you have to go on.  The new home awaits, and with it comes the promise of new memories.  It will never be the same as the old one.  But we can always hope that it’s better.

To moving on, to New Year’s, to new homes; to old relationships with renewed bonds, passion and hope, thank you Lord for these gifts!

Thursday, November 22, 2012

I think...

1.  I'm falling in love;
2.  I like being on top;
3.  I'm glad for the pain.

We'll see.  Let's get to know each other more.

Friday, November 16, 2012

First Attempt

November 15, 2012

This day marks my first attempt at stepping into the mats.  I had huge butterflies in my stomach the whole day.  The Thursday no-gi class at Project Lifestyle Manila gym, home of Deftac Pilipinas at Ortigas, starts at 8PM.  At 4:30PM, I had my early dinner.  Butterflies.  At 5:30PM, I left the office and headed to the gym.  Butterflies.  At 7:00PM, I arrived at Ortigas.  Butterflies.  I walked into the gym.  Butterflies.  I registered at the front desk and signed the waiver.  Butterflies.  I went to the restroom to change into my workout clothes.  Butterflies.  I thought that after the preliminaries, the butterflies would have flown away.  But within minutes before the class, I still have them, huge than ever. :D  I can't quite point out where the nerves are coming from.  Maybe it's from expecting and yet not knowing what to expect; not knowing what happens next; not knowing how to act on what could or might happen.

I've been wanting to try and train jiu-jitsu for quite some time now.  The curiosity, the interest, was inspired by a man very passionate in what he does:  jiu-jitsu.  I have not tried, for the longest time since the interest was sparked, because 1) I'm occupied with other stuff - climbing is my passion, and there's surfing, running, Muay Thai classes, and the time spent at planning out how I would fit all the things I wanted to do in my seven-day-only-week schedule; 2) I wanted to try fitness dance classes first; 3) I don't know where and how to start; and 4) I always find excuse not to -  the idea/thought of doing jiu-jitsu scares me and I don't know why.  All these, until, a very special someone bought me a very nice gi for a birthday gift.  During that time, my calendar is full with all activities related to getting into the country's most prestigious, no-nonsense mountaineering organization, the UP Mountaineers.  But I made a silent promise to myself.  By the time I get inducted into UP Mountaineers, I will do jiu-jitsu.

It seemed all of heaven is working out to make sure I do jiu-jitsu, as promised.  A few days before the induction climb, the last step in the UPM application process, Project Lifestyle Manila launched a promo:  one-month unlimited BJJ class for only PhP999.00.  I got yet another gift.  The pre-requisites are complete.  All I have to do is to find time.

Last night was it.  And though I felt such a newbie, it's a beginning of a beautiful adventure.  Learn, that's the main objective.  I really wanted to learn.  I promise to be a good student.  I just want to learn.  That's all I could allow myself to think of right now.  Everything is in the future. :)  What lies ahead, what to expect, I didn't know.  It scares me, but I'm sticking around to find out.  This is my first attempt.  But it's not my last.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Survival Rule of Threes

I just want to take note of this:
Remember the “Rule of Threes.” You can live three minutes without AIR, three hours without SHELTER in a bad environment, three days without WATER and three weeks without FOOD. In a survival situation, this is a good guide to think about.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Pag-Ibig O Bundok?

Naisip ko lang....

Why choose when you can have both? :)

I'm truly blessed.