A not-so-random thing

I'm just ONE click away from finishing my previous post (Random thoughts... or random things?).

What happened:
I finished writing it.
I was previewing and spell-checking.

I'm ready to click 'Save & Publish'.

I clicked 'Save & Publish'.

Site Maintenance.  VOILA!!!

Funny thing, Multiply's maintenance lasted only FIVE MINUTES!!!

Had to do everything all over again. :|

Random?  I call it perfect timing... that's not so perfect.

Random thoughts... or random things?

Looking For Paradise playing, by Alicia Keys and a Latino named Alejandro

I'm excited to hear/know whether you're a blue now.

I'm excited about you.

I miss you.

I don't remember where I put the little note you gave me with your early Christmas gift - Dec. 1(?), 2011.

I'm curious, always.

I want to forget but my brain is working against me. :|

I want to remember but it seems some things are simply lost in my head.

I want to write.  This is my best attempt.

I want to sing, but I want a band behind me.  So for now, I'll just sing along with my iPod music. :|  Playing:  Love Is My Disease

I want to organize... my thoughts... and write a sensible piece.

My stuff are ALWAYS organized.

I want to SURF!!! And watch you SURF...

Inspiration Wanted

I miss writing, and the autonomy that comes with it.

I wish I could find the inspiration to write about almost anything like I used to with the same, even renewed, energy I used to have.

I'm waiting, patiently waiting.

Maraming Bilin

Hindi lang kanta ang pwedeng bumuo sa araw mo. Nakarinig sa sasakyan ng isang tula (which, technically speaking, kanta rin naman, wala nga lang musika). Naaliw, natuwa pero natitigilan din, dahil may talim ang bawat salitang naririnig. Kaya eto, pag-uwi, hinanap agad at nilagay dito para sa inyong hindi nabigyan ng pagkakataong marinig ang tulang pampagising ;)


TAGUBILIN AT HABILIN
(Slightly revised version)
Ni Jose F. Lacaba


Mabuhay ka, kaibigan!
Mabuhay ka!
Iyan ang una't huli kong
Tagubilin at habilin:
Mabuhay ka!

Sa edad kong ito, marami akong maibibigay na payo.
Mayaman ako sa payo.

Maghugas ka ng kamay bago kumain.
Maghugas ka ng kamay pagkatapos kumain.
Pero huwag kang maghuhugas ng kamay para lang makaiwas sa sisi.
Huwag kang maghuhugas ng kamay kung may inaapi
Na kaya mong tulungan.

Paupuin sa bus ang matatanda at ang mga may kalong na sanggol.
Magpasalamat sa nagmamagandang-loob.
Matuto sa karanasan ng matatanda
Pero huwag magpatali sa kaisipang makaluma.

Huwag piliting matulog kung ayaw kang dalawin ng antok.
Huwag pag-aksayahan ng panahon ang walang utang na loob.
Huwag makipagtalo sa bobo at baka ka mapagkamalang bobo.
Huwag bubulong-bulong sa mga panahong kailangang sumigaw.

Huwag kang manalig sa bulung-bulungan.
Huwag kang papatay-patay sa ilalim ng pabitin.
Huwag kang tutulog-tulog sa pansitan.

Umawit ka kung nag-iisa sa banyo.
Umawit ka sa piling ng barkada.
Umawit ka kung nalulungkot.
Umawit ka kung masaya.

Ingat lang.

Huwag kang aawit ng “My Way” sa videoke bar at baka ka mabaril.
Huwag kang magsindi ng sigarilyo sa gasolinahan.
Dahan-dahan sa matatarik na landas.
Dahan-dahan sa malulubak na daan.

Higit sa lahat, inuulit ko:

Mabuhay ka, kaibigan!
Mabuhay ka!
Iyan ang una't huli kong
Tagubilin at habilin:
Mabuhay ka!

Maraming bagay sa mundo na nakakadismaya.
Mabuhay ka.
Maraming problema ang mundo na wala na yatang lunas.
Mabuhay ka.

Sa hirap ng panahon, sa harap ng kabiguan,
Kung minsan ay gusto mo nang mamatay.
Gusto mong maglaslas ng pulso kung sawi sa pag-ibig.
Gusto mong uminom ng lason kung wala nang makain.
Gusto mong magbigti kung napakabigat ng mga pasanin.
Gusto mong pasabugin ang bungo mo kung maraming gumugulo sa utak.

Huwag kang patatalo. Huwag kang susuko.

Narinig mo ang sinasabi ng awitin:
“Gising at magbangon sa pagkagupiling,
Sa pagkakatulog na lubhang mahimbing.”
Gumising ka kung hinaharana ka ng pag-ibig.
Bumangon ka kung nananawagan ang kapuspalad.

Ang sabi ng iba: “Ang matapang ay walang-takot lumaban.”
Ang sabi ko naman: Ang tunay na matapang ay lumalaban
Kahit natatakot.

Lumaban ka kung inginungodngod ang nguso mo sa putik.
Bumalikwas ka kung tinatapak-tapakan ka.
Buong-tapang mong ipaglaban ang iyong mga prinsipyo
Kahit hindi ka sigurado na agad-agad kang mananalo.

Mabuhay ka, kaibigan!
Mabuhay ka!
Iyan ang una't huli kong
Tagubilin at habilin:
Mabuhay ka!

Walang Kwentang Post

Pakiramdam ko talaga tumatanda akong paurong! Hahaha! Yun lang :p

At at at... NAMAN!!!! I love So Sick kaya - yeah I'm so sick of love songs!
BAKIT NI-REVIVE NYO NANAMAN PMYM??!!!! TAE NAMAN OH!! WALA NA! BABOY NA!! Please pakiusap tigilan nyo na yan! Nauubos na yung magagandang kanta oh!! Wala nang matitira. Lahat ng maganda iniisa-isa nyo!! TAMA NA!!!!! PAKIUSAP!! WAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

Ang Music Dahil Sa Internet

Eto nasa C5 naman ako nung naisip ko hehe!  Ano ba kaibahan ng C5 at EDSA? (singit lang) hehe.  Ang C5 pinapaasa ka dahil may part na ang bilis-bilis ng takbo ng traffic, kala mo tuloy-tuloy na.  Tapos biglaan, sisikip ng sobra-sobra na halos nakahinto na talaga ang sasakyan.  At maiisip mo na lang, "Oops, wrong mistake, false alarm."  Ang EDSA naman, it will take you there one step at a time, pasundot-sundot ang usad, dahan-dahan, hindi mabilis, pero hindi rin nakahinto.  Umaandar naman kahit pa'no.  Kailangan mo lang patience.  'Di ka masyado ma-eexcite kasi hindi talaga bibilis ng sobra ang takbo ng trapik.

Okay, hindi 'yan ang topic ng post ko.

Naisip ko lang:  mga pagkakaibang dala ng internet sa music noon (8-10 years ago) at ngayon

1. NOON pag gusto mo matutunan lyrics ng isang kanta, PLAY & PAUSE (naka-cassette tape ka man o medyo asenso na at naka-CD) tapos sulat ang line na nasagap mo habang nakikinig. Pag medyo mahina ang tainga, REWIND. Pag sa gitna ng isang line yung hindi naintindihan, REWIND + FAST FORWARD. NGAYON, type mo lang sa google, lyrics of title ng song, ok na, meron ka na, tama o mali man ang wordings. Save & print pa kung gusto mo.

BOTTOMLINE: mas masipag ang mga tao noon.

2. NOON pag gusto mo matutunan ang chords ng isang kanta, paulit-ulit mong pakikinggan at saka sisiprahin ang tugtog. Nagka-kalyo na ang daliri mo kakagitara pero ok lang, kasi dadating ang panahon, swak na ang chords. Parang pareho na yung pinakikinggan at tinutugtog mo. Yung mga hula at tsamba lang nung una, perfect na sa bandang huli. Tapos pag medyo mataas or mababa kaysa sa singing voice mo, manual transposition para masabayan mo ng pagkanta ang pagtugtog. NGAYON search ulit sa google, chords of title ng song, ok na. Kahit sablay yung mga nota/chords na naka-publish sa net, pagti-tyagaan mo na. May mga version-version pa para 'di mo na kaylangan mag-transpose. Tugtugin mo ang  pinakasakto sa taste mo.

BOTTOMLINE: mas magaling ang mga aspiring musicians/singers noon.

3. NOON pag may nagtanong sayo "alam mo yung kantang... maganda yun" at na-curious ka, titignan mo sa mga music shop kung may mabibili ka pang album, cassette man or CD. Pag meron at kasya sa budget, bibili ka. NGAYON, search mo lang sa Limewire, audio type title of song, madaming search results na pwede mong pagpilian. Hanapin mo lang kung ano dun yung kantang gusto mo (kasi nga naman, mga kanta ngayon pare-pareho na ng title). Walang hasel maghanap/maghagilap ng album, wala pang gastos kasi libre.

BOTTOMLINE: mas mayaman ang mga tao noon.

Hahaha! Wala lang. Nanggugulo nanaman ako.

ORAYT! I'M OUTTA HERE!

Look back and remember...

January 15, 2008

Habang nasa ma-trapik na lansangan ng Edsa, something occured to me (or in more appropriate words, may naisip nanaman ako. Sorry malikot talaga isip ko). 'Di ko nga dapat naiisip 'to kasi I have no personal experience in this as of the moment.  Siguro nahugot ko 'to sa mga kwentong relasyon ng mga kaibigan ko (masyado ata akong affected, hehe).

Sa Lion King, sabi ni Muffassa kay Simba when Simba was all prepared to turn his back from being the rightful heir to the throne of Pride Rock, "Remember... Remember who you are."  Medyo na-relate ko lang sya sa mga minsang coldness a.k.a. panlalamig na nararanasan natin sa mga relasyon. Dahil sa masyado nang nagkasanayan, nagkasawaan, we often get this "I don't care anymore" attitude pag nagkakaroon ng mga tampuhan.  Parang suddenly, we become all prepared, all ready to give up our partner, all our times together, and all future plans we somehow managed to come up with along the way.  Oo nga naman kasi.  Kung titignan, quitting/giving up is the easiest, safest way out.  At gatong pa dyan ang everyday regularities in forms of everyday tampuhan, everyday same face na tinitignan, everyday same hand na hinahawakan, everyday same voice na naririnig. Iba naman? Tempting!

Kaya nga "Remember" - when we're feeling exactly like this, look back and remember. Remember who you are, remember the people you used to be. Look back on the very first day you fell in love with your partner and remember the very reasons why you did (kahit na minsan sabi nila the best form of love is that without explainable reasons). Ok let's say totoo 'yan. Still, try to find and remember those qualities of your partner that once amazed you.  Siguro nga kasi totoo din na love grows weak, if not fades (dahil sa love hormones? malay natin. O dahil sa love is just an emotion nga lang daw na, tulad ng anger, ay lumilipas din) pero one cannot love without commitment. And commitment takes a little effort. Make that extra little effort to try and remember and who knows, we might find ourselves smiling again as we recall that bubbly attitude that made us laugh long ago, that charming smile that once captivated our heart, that quick wit that never fails to leave us in awe, those beautiful hands, that wonderful voice that is once music to our ears, that face that we've always dreamt of waking up to in the morning, those eating habits that are always bizaare, those qualities that we always find unique and interesting.  It won't be too hard to give that little effort to try to make ourselves and our partners happy and revived.  Refresh our memories. Remember...

Yes, we can always say that for sure, we'll be able to find all these things from someone else, someone new.  But the point is, we already fell in love with these qualities and the person that possessed them a long time ago.  Somehow we just forgot.  And it's not so much pain to try to remember.  At least in the end when, after all that we've tried to do, the relationship still failed, no one can say we didn't give it our best.  Because we know we didn't want and we weren't so ready to give up in the first place.  That's the only time we can say "maybe that's the way it's meant to be."

SMC-BMC Batch 4 Induction Climb 2 - Mt. Batulao, Nasugbu, Batangas

December 20 -21, 2008

Inductees: Ariz, Boks, Gilvie, Jec and Rolan

Yehey! tatlo na lang, Batch 4 na talaga

Dahil tanga ako, nakalimutan ko dalin yung phone ko during trek to summit, kaya tuloy ang pictures puro nung pababa na (corny!) haha

I think I'm over Twilight

Okeeeii gising na.

Ang Twilight ay isang ilusyon lamang, isang panaginip. WAKE UP!

At dahil si Edward Cullen ay ilusyon din, pwede bang lahat ng babaeng katulad ni Bella Swan (KSP) ay ilusyon lang din? hehehe! Pwede bang hindi sila nag-eexist?

Peace! Orayt, I'm out! :D

Cold day? Wiwi day? Pumili ka

Dec. 17, 2008

Dumating sa office around 7:30AM (salamat kay Jeric) kasi kundi nya ko ginising, half-day nanaman ako dahil 1:30AM na'ko nakauwi dahil sa PSG Christmas party.
Kakapanibago, ang lamig ngayon sa 29/F. Dati-rati kaya ko tumagal dito ng buong araw ng hindi nag-ja-jacket. And as proof na malamig talaga ngayon dito, 'di ko na mabilang kung ilang beses akong umihi. Parang every 5 minutes, wiwi ako. Tayo tuloy ako ng tayo sa station ko. CR ng CR. Yung isang roll ng tissue sa kaisa-isang cube na ginagamit ko (2nd one upon entering the comfort room) ay malapit nang maubos (pero syempre I'm assuming na hindi lang ako ang nag-CCR dun sa cube na yun, kaya hindi po ako ang umubos ng tissue).

Ok, dahil dito, naisip ko i-log ang mga time na tumatayo ako ng station ko para mag-CR. Right now it's 10:43AM. CR muna ako ha?

10:50AM - trabaho ulit

11:43AM - wiwi nanaman ulit, tapos diretso lunch na

1:39PM - back from wiwi break/lunch out at AMICI c/o Mac (Thanks Mac!)

1:56PM - CCR ako ulit hehe

2:02PM - trabaho ulit; boot from Windows to Linux (papalit-palit ako ng OS ngayon. Bakit kasi hindi pwedeng lahat ng kailangan ko nasa isang OS na lang? haha)

3:50PM - CR again :p

3:59PM - back at my desk, with a glass of water (na-dehydrate na ata ako kaka-ihi, hahaha!)

4:45PM - ay, naiihi nanaman ako haha!

4:51PM - back to work. At kailangan ko maghanap ng extension dahil magsesetup ako ng isa pang PC dito sa area ko para ma-test kung gagana yung network monitoring tool na inaaral ko. Dalawa lang outlet ko dito hehe. Tapos yung teammate ko (na itatago natin sa pangalang Chito) ayaw ako pahiramin ng extention nya, e wala naman nakasaksak haha! Ang damot.

5:35PM - wiwi nanaman, suri na ;)

5:40PM - back at my station. Pero dahil nag-uwian na mga ka-team ko, natatamad na 'ko magtrabaho. hehe. Bibihis na'ko dahil mag-stairclimb kami nila Jeric and Boks. At syempre hindi ko na yun ilalagay dito kasi ang post na ito ay tungkol sa pagwiwi (or pag-minor, if I am to use our mountaineers' lexicon, hehe!)

Orayt! bye for now ;)

SMC-BMC 4 Induction Climb: Reflections

Even The Worst Could Not Beat It!

"Expect the worst, hope for the best!" - Just one of the few one-liners I've learned from BMC. Upon committing myself to fulfilling dutifully the requirements to becoming a real mountaineer and an official member of the SMART Mountaineering Club, I have fears, worries and dilemmas to start with. As I listened to lectures and tales of previous experiences, I began to have a clear picture in my head of what could be “worst” for me when I started climbing mountains and trekking the path to mountaineering. I know what I’m afraid of, what I don’t want to happen, what I don’t want to see or witness, and what I can’t bear to think or imagine would happen. I fear for these things, but somehow I’m EXPECTING they would happen anyway, no matter how I wish they won’t’, because it’s not entirely in my hands to prevent them. And what am I afraid of exactly? Well, my own definition of “worst” includes: (1) snakes, poisonous snakes, either seeing it or being bitten by it; (2) slipping, because I’m bothered by that feeling you get when you slip: a combination of losing control and falling down; (3) getting lost, because I don’t have the confidence that I could find my way back; (4) being left behind, because I’m not sure if I can keep up; (5) heavy rain, because I don’t know whether I’m waterproofed enough and I’m worried that if my stuff and my food get soaked, then I wouldn’t be able to survive; (6) leech, bloodsucking leeches – I imagined I would faint just by the sight of it, what more getting bitten by it; (7) witnessing someone get his/her bone broken, because I’m sure I’ll be stunned on the spot, immobile and useless that you can’t trust me to help give the first aid; (8) getting exhausted, because I’m worried that I’ll reach a point where I can no longer go on and everybody would just have to leave me behind; (9) drinking water coming from somewhere I don’t know; and finally (10) I can’t nudge off that feeling that I’m not well prepared and properly geared for a climb that I won’t be able to survive the subtleties of the mountains and then I would just die of accident or hypothermia or poisoning and I wouldn’t be able to come home. These are my worst fears, my worries, and my uncertainties. These are the things that make me vulnerable.

If I’m so worried and so scared of so many things, why then did I persist? After being finally inducted into the club, I say “IT WAS ALL WORTH IT!” It would be the greatest regret of my life if I let these fears stand in the way of my pursuit of becoming a real mountaineer. All throughout this BMC journey, I’ve had the opportunity to come face-to-face with some of my fears. Tarak gave me the “Am I lost?” feeling – I can’t see anyone ahead of or behind me. It gave me my first “Is this water safe to drink?” experience. Finally, it taught me that I will never be left behind, not even while we’re in the dark trekking our way to an unsure summit, because there is someone called “the sweeper”. Pulag, on the other hand, gave me assurance that I am geared enough to not die of hypothermia. It also taught me that there’s nothing wrong in slipping – because I slipped A LOT in this climb. I think I had my “winning slip” here, but I’ve learned there’s always someone who’ll pull you up and help you get back on your feet. And lastly, Pulag immobilized me when a little snake jumped off in front of me and crawled away. For one minute I just stood on the spot, wondering, firstly, if that’s really a snake I just saw and secondly, scared to take another step for fear that there could be more of them in my way. But as we all say, “I survived Pulag!” Finally, Ugo concluded my long list of fears. It proved to me that no matter how long the trail is, I’ll never die of exhaustion because I can always take a break and I won’t be alone because there’s always someone who’s willing to take that break with me. It showed me that I will not die of hunger and I’m stuffed enough to survive two nights. And lastly, it taught me that leech’s bites don’t kill. It will only cause you to bleed a lot but as long as you can survive the bleeding, you won’t faint – and I didn’t faint, contrary to my fear that I definitely would. Ugo finishes off my worries.

And I say it was all worth it. I’ve been through my worst and yet, none of these could beat the fun, the excitement, the joy, the sense of belongingness and family I get everytime I’m in a climb with my fellow mountaineers. I hoped for the best and I sure got it, in big servings! It doesn’t matter so much that my worst fears await me ahead of the trail because I always feel like shouting and jumping whenever I am walking side-by-side with people who share my passion. And ultimately, nothing can dampen my spirit and make me miss being in the company of people who, just like me, also have fears and weaknesses and worries and yet have a heart brave enough to keep on going; people who are not afraid to open up themselves, to tell what they’re afraid of, to cry, to share their failures, to talk about their foolishness, to make themselves vulnerable: People who let me into their lives, willing to make me a part of it and them a part of mine. And in that moment when we’re all in our nakedness, hiding no more, we find strength and courage from one another. We find solace, comfort, reassurance, understanding, loyalty and friendship. We share each other’s pain; we carry each other’s burden. We are inducted not just into a club, but into a family where every member matters, every member is cared for and every member has a voice. And this is just the beginning. There are more paths to take and more mountains to conquer, but the knowledge that I have you all with me, it is more than enough to empower me.

SMC-BMC 4 Training Climb: Reflections

On Climbing Mountains:  An Essay of One Question

            “What's the point?” one of my fellow climbers joked.  And everyone within earshot laughed as someone added, “Oo nga.  Dahil lang sa picture?!”  This was the exchange I was listening to while walking along Ambangeg trail of Mt. Pulag.  We were remembering our most recent climb at Mt. Tarak where, upon reaching a point we're not even sure to actually be the summit, we did nothing but take pictures:  of ourselves, our fellow mountaineers, the neighboring peaks and the sunrise.  In the conversation, someone added, “Bakit ba natin tinotorture mga sarili natin?”  Listening to jokes being passed around, I wondered, “Oo nga, what's the point?  Ano kung marating mo summit e pictures nga lang naman ang napala mo?”

            What's the point?  I got my answer the day after our return to Manila.  One of my friends asked, “Kumusta naman kabundukan?”  Without any other intention besides expressing how I feel about the climb, I replied, “Ayun masaya, my ups and downs, my highs and lows.”  And my friend answered, “Wow! Para palang life ang mountains.  You're really fit for that because you've been through life's extremes.”  Aha! There! I have my answer.  What's the point of letting ourselves be tortured by the pain we feel in our muscles?  To ignore the throbbing in our ears as our blood rush and our heartbeats race, the aching of our heads, the numbing of our feet, the pain in our backs as we carry heavy loads, the growling of our stomachs as we skip one meal to walk one more hour or one more mile to the designated place for eating?  Why do we endure thirst just to save enough water to get us through the entire climb?  Why do we endure extreme cold to the point that we need to cling on to someone else to warm ourselves?  In the other end, why do we endure dizzying heat that makes our heads feel like splitting in two?  Why all these when we can have all the comforts of our homes?  Why?  Simple.  Because climbing mountains allows us to experience the WALK OF LIFE, literally.  It's like saying, “Life in a nutshell” where there are laughters, there are tears; there are moments of glory and moments of pain; some ran through it, others take it one step at a time; we slip and fall, almost all the time, but we get back on our feet because we want to finish this; many are scared but the brave ones are there to lend a hand; some take the lead, others are content to be in the tail; others get sick, but there are those who are willing to take care of them; we get cold, but someone comforts us; we need an extra pair of gloves or another piece of clothing, someone shares his spare; we don't have a place to sleep in, someone offers his place.  Isn't this exactly how life is?  But despite it all, what matters is we went through it together.  No matter who got there first, what's important is no one was left behind.  We all reached the peak.  And the most wonderful realization struck me when someone shouted, “We are now at the highest point in Luzon!” Wow, that feels great.  For a few moments, we were above everyone else.  And what do we have as proof of that? PICTURES! Now we can no longer say, “Dahil lang sa pictures?”  Every shot we took, either along the way or at the peak, is solid proof of the bond we've formed as climbers, as friends, as family.

So what's the point of climbing mountains?  It is not a punishment but rather it is an opportunity to glimpse at life, to experience its entirety in just a day or two with the company of people you've grown to be fond of.

Climbing the stairs of Smart Tower

Whew!  Astig!

Because developing our endurance is very vital in being a member of the Smart Mountaineering Club (SMC), one of our physical training is stair climbing.

Itinerary (September 25, 2008)
1800 - assembly sa groundfloor lobby, attendance.
1820 - stretching, warm-up
1830 - start climb (1st to 33rd floor)
1840 - expected time of arrival sa 33rd floor; claim blue ribbon; hydration sa pantry; start descend
1850 - expected time of arrival sa 1st floor; check first loop; start climb for 2nd loop
1900 - expected time of arrival sa 33rd floor; claim red ribbon; hydration; start descend
1910 - expected time of arrival sa 1st floor; check second loop

Kapagod sya, pero it was all necessary in preparation for our Warm-Up Climb at Mt. Tarak, Bataan kasi daw "matarik ang Tarak".  Masaya naman on one hand and fulfilling kasi I never dared thought that this is possible.  Nung college, climbing the stairs of Andrew Hall hanggang 12th floor, laylay na dila ko and cramps na ang legs.  Pero sabi nga ng SMCnoys, mental conditioning is as important as physical conditioning.  If your mind thought it, then you can achieve it.

"If you think you CAN, then you're right.  If you think you CAN'T, then you're right as well."

Umbrella ni Rihanna, Payong Nga Naman sa Tagalog

TAKTENG TAGALIZING YAN!!

Kairita, masakit sa tenga! TAMA NA PLEASE!!

SMARTrees Ipo Dam Watershed Tree Planting Activity

August 29, 2008

SMART employees volunteered in a tree planting activity at the Ipo Dam Watershed, Norzagaray, Bulacan

Fun! GET DIRTY FOR MOTHER EARTH!

Pepsi Max on Love

Last Friday morning, due to heavy rain and heavy traffic, I was stuck along EDSA for more or less an hour and a half.  As a consequence, I had all the chance to look around, read advertisements, stare at billboards, and come up with conclusions whether I like what I see or the ad makes sense or the grammar is right or the tags are nice or the slogans hit a mark and things like that.  In all those wonderings, one slogan truly hit a mark on me.  Pepsi Max’s “Love is a battlefield, Get some scars” sure is something.  Though I cannot find the connection between Pepsi Max and love being a battlefield, this slogan made my day.  I was smiling to myself the rest of the ride to work after reading it.  I keep saying that, how true:  Love is a battlefield.

Can you name someone alive who doesn’t have scars after returning from the wars?  Probably it’s someone who cowered and made a run for it.  But usually in war movies, soldiers like that, if we can call them soldiers, are shot to death for cowardice.  If not, they commit suicide because of shame.  Or worse, they go mad.  Applying these principles on love, I realized, or more accurately I affirmed, that in loving, we must have the guts of a real, genuine soldier.  We cannot just be brave, we have to be principled and decided and willing to get some scars, even a few DEEP ones.  Because only when we’re truly convinced that we understand and want what we’re doing can we accept all the pain that comes with loving and not be bitter about it but instead, mature and grow through it.  It’s the only way we’ll not go crazy because trust me, THERE IS and THERE WILL ALWAYS be pain in love.  No matter how much we force ourselves to believe that love is that world of butterflies where everything is beautiful and nice and good, it’s never the case.  On the other hand, will we let these “scars” or threat of “having scars” stop us from marveling in that wonderful universe of love where everything has freedom, beyond our control and unpredictable?  We’ll miss life and living if we do because what’s there in life without love?  So be scared no more.  I’d rather be wounded than blind:  blind and ignorant of what I am missing without love, like a coward soldier who retreated and missed out on all the great adventures that come with fighting a battle and conquering the enemy.  I’d rather fall head over heels in love with someone than be afraid and hesitant to tell somebody how much he means to me.

Get some scars.  Love is worth it because it is a battlefield:  a fight where only the bravest at heart come out victorious.

On a side note, I suddenly made a connection between Pepsi Max and the slogan.

Max is the shortened term for MAXIMUM, which implies, I believe, a peak state, the furthest degree:  a state wherein no improvements can be made.  It is the utmost.  It is reaching the highest degree of capacity or endurance that, when applied to love, means giving it your all, your everything, leaving yourself with completely nothing and enduring it all, taking it all in.  As soldiers, entering the battlefield is like surrendering yourself to fate and trusting in your weapon.  The same is very true with love.  You surrender yourself to it and trust in your only weapon:  YOUR HEART.  You trust in its strength and have faith that it makes the wise choice.  You give it control and let it take over, trusting that it will get you through.  You are willing to endure it all.  It’s a complete surrender which, like what I’ve mentioned earlier, only those who have a brave heart can manage to do.

She's Never a Stranger

My mother first left for Riyadh when I was in third year highschool.  On the day of her flight, I didn't cry.  But I knew I was sad.  Deep down, it feels like something's been taken away from me.  The following day at school, when my friends started asking questions about her departure and how I'm coping up with it, that's when I felt I'm about to burst into tears.  And I did.  It's funny that it took me more than 24 hours to realize how desperately sad I was.  I thought to myself, "Wow!  It's for real, my mom's gone!  Far away!"  It's been 6 years since that day.  My mom comes home every year, but goes back to Riyadh after a month or so.

In my younger days, I've been hearing stories and watching movies of how relationships between children and parents who are working abroad are ruined due to being apart.  Many people, relatives and friends, feared for me.  They're afraid that, like most stories, I would be emotionally detached from my mother.  They thought my mom would never really get to know me, or my siblings for that matter.  But seriously, I think they're wrong.  MY MOTHER WASN'T, ISN'T and WILL NEVER BE A STRANGER.  And if there's one person in this world who knew me almost perfectly well, that would be her.  Yes, she's far away.  But she knew me enough to trust that I would do the right things, make the right decisions, choose the right choices.  She never doubted me.  We are thousands of miles apart but there's an ever-present bond between us.  We never have to talk constantly on the phone, send emails to each other or write letters.  There's a calm in me that's saying "She's doing great there!"  And I know she feels the same way.  She knows more of the affairs in my life and the things that have been going on with me than those people who are physically just within my reach.  And why is that?  Simple.  Wherever she goes, SHE's my MOM and I'm her daughter.  And no matter how long it takes before she'd finally settle down here in the Philippines, I know that I'll keep knowing her deeper and better and our bond would just keep getting stronger.  For she's not just my mother, she's my bestfriend, my sister, my counselor, my role model, my inheritance.

I am and will forever be proud that I descended from a wonderful woman such as my mom!

Graduation Day! Finally...

June 21, 2008
PICC Plenary Hall

Thank God, dumating din ang araw na 'to.
Had fun with my family and fellow graduates.
Konti lang nakuhang pictures kasi na-lobat yung camera tapos makita-kita ko meron palang spare battery dun sa lalagyan, pauwi na kami hehe.
Pinaka-astig na moment ko was when I received my "diploma" and on the aisle, on my way back to my seat, the god Sir Clement Ong called me from where he's sitting and saluted me.  Hahaha!  Angas!  Fulfilling talaga ang feeling.

Congratulations to all of us and God bless on whatever path we decide to take from now on!  Mami-miss ko ang DLSU, mami-miss ko ang CCS, mami-miss ko ang Gox, mami-miss ko ang CT, mami-miss ko ang CT peeps.

This day made me realize there are a lot of things I should be thankful for.  Before, studying and graduating from DLSU was a distant dream for me.  But now, it has become my reality.  Naks!  Animo La Salle!

I Don't Wear a Halo

This song says everything I want to say.  This goes out to all you people who expect a lot from others, treat them as saints, look up to them and then gets disappointed when they fall short of your demands and expectations.  I love Bethany Joy Galeotti, her songs are brave, they make sense and they speak the truth about human attitude. Haha!

Halo
Artist: Bethany Joy Galeotti
Album: Friends with Benefit
I never promised you a ray of light
I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday
I gave you everything I have
The good, the bad

Why do you put me on a pedestal?
I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below
So help me down, you got it wrong
I don't belong there

One thing is clear
I wear a halo, I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here
You wouldn't say so,
You wouldn't say so if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you
I, I just wanna love you

I always said that I would make mistakes
I'm only human and that's my saving grace
I fall as hard as I try
So don't be blinded
See me as I really am
I have flaws and sometimes I even sin
So pull me from that pedestal
I don't belong there

One thing is clear
I wear a halo,
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here,
You wouldn't say so,
You wouldn't say so if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you
I, I just wanna love you

Like you think that you know me
But in your eyes
I am something worthy
Only in your mind
Only in your mind

One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so
You wouldn't say so if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you
I, I just wanna love you

Birthday ni Love and Avriel at The Fort

June 9, 2008
20th birthday ni Aves, 21st naman ni Love.  Sabay sila kasi soulmates 'yang dalawang 'yan e.

Kita-kita sa Gateway Fully Booked ng 2PM pero late mga tao kaya yung mga unang dumating, nag-stay na lang sa food express near Wendy's.
1. Aves & Love (unang-una yung celebrants)
2. Omai (yehey! 'di ako yung pinaka-late, mga 2:45 na yan)
3. Shyn (nung nag-text kung nasan na'ko, kala ko naman nandun na sya sa meeting place, kakaalis pa lang pala sa bahay nila haha!)
4. Tinay (galing pang Pagsanjan yan.  The best no?)
5. Ecka & Eswan ('di ko alam kung san silang dalawa nag-antayan hehe.  Basta sabay sila dumating)

Nag-frosty & fries muna sa Wendy's
MRT to Ayala and then shuttle to Market-Market
Pagdating Market-Market, 'di makapag-decide kung saan kakain kaya naglakad nang naglakad hanggang makarating sa dulo ng The Fort
Nag-coffee sa Starbucks pero ang gusto daw kainin SBARRO kaya sila Ecka, Cess and Love, bumalik all the way to Market-Market para mag-take-out sa SBARRO.  Pero marami pa sila dinaanan: hotshots from KFC, garlic bread from Greenwich, muntik pa nga ata mapa-burger sa McDo haha!  Nag-cab pa yan pabalik ng Starbucks (napagalitan pa nga daw sila ni manong drayber.  Sabi daw ang lapit-lapit lang, nag-taxi pa sila.  Eh maglakad ka ba naman mula Market-Market nang may dala-dala na malaking box ng pizza at kung anu-ano pa)
Nagkainan na sa Starbucks
Nag-pictorial all the way to Timezone
Naglaro sa Timezone (games & videoke)
Naglakad na ulit pabalik sa Market-Market
Nagwall-climbing na (Sandugo)
Uwian na :D

Silang anim nag-sleepover sa bahay.  Kaya pito kami sa kwarto ko.  Di pa rin ako makapaniwala pano kmi nagkasya.
Pero actually, di naman kami natulog.  Extension pa rin ng bonding. :)
In the morning, kailangan gumising ng maaga dahil thesis daw ang first class ni Shyn.  Kaya lahat kami inapura nya.  Tapos si Ecka may exam pa sa ELECOM.  Di pa sya nag-re-review.  Ako naman punta pa Smart.  Kaya ang bilis-bilis namin kumilos naks! Breakfast sa bahay tapos ligo tapos alisan na.

Sobrang saya nito guys!  Sa uulitin.  Thanks Aves & Espor sa treat.  Love ko kayong lahat.  Mwah!